Kind of a lot. Please don't be overwhelmed.

Today was a beautiful day. The sun was warm, almost hot, and I sat out on a bench editing papers for my classmates. Couldn't think of a better way to spend the afternoon. I even got a nice dose of foreign in me when the Swedes came by and sat for a little bit; I couldn't understand a word they said. It was nice - I had been feeling a little stir crazy.

About an hour ago I got an email from CAT explaining that they had chosen someone else for the summer position that I had applied to. I had a lot of hope riding on that one. Probably shouldn't have done that.

I guess I just want people to know that this is hard for me.

I try to be positive and cheerful when people ask me about my job status. I hate saying "still looking". I hate it when people ask because then I have to make my excuses.

I don't really have any excuses. I've tried everywhere. My excuse is God. I don't know what He's doing anymore. Like I ever did. I know He has provided for me, and I know He will still provide for me. I just can't see it right now. And Satan is telling me it is never going to happen. I'll never be able to pay off my debts or pay back my parents.

I'm not really frustrated. And I'm not angry.

I'm just tired.

And a little bit afraid.

That is Satan again.

Please pray for me. Pray that I will see God's provision and His hand in my life. Pray that He will make me strong against the Enemy's attacks. Pray that I will remain faithful and thankful for what He has already done and for what He will do.

But I don't want you to think it is all bad. I spent last weekend with my friend Kelly and her friends from Elgin. They are incredible people. They love Jesus out loud. Nothing about their relationship with Him is quiet. I came away so refreshed and encouraged and inspired.

I've also been spending my mornings with Christ consistently and what a difference that has made in my life. My prayer life has also been revived. It has just been awesome. God is doing crazy, wonderful things in my life and in the lives of my friends.

Seth Miller is in Suriname right now serving Him, and he'll be in Uganda this summer advancing the gospel. Kelly Leatherman and Jared Ackles are considering English camps in Czech for the summer. Noah Ellenwood is being a light for Christ on the Czech/Slovak Superstar (their version of American Idol). Erica Beutel is getting baptized next Sunday. Brett Morr has plans to be in Slovakia for the summer and then possibly Romania with JV. Kevin and Angie Weigelt are moving from Satu Mare, RO to Brasov to plant churches. And my beautiful friends Mandy Scott, Anne King, and Kari Grissom are getting married this summer.

So, in conclusion, help me and rejoice with me. We serve an incredible and unfathomable God!

I've been praying this for myself and for some of my friends recently. May it be an encouragement.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people.

Ephesians 6:10-18