Provision

God has always provided for me. Sometimes way ahead of time; sometimes right at the last minute. I've never wanted for anything, and I have often felt the blessing of his provision in my life.

But I don't feel like God is providing for me now. I've been looking for a job since August with absolutely no success. My school bills are piling up, I have loans that I haven't been able to save for, I can't buy my own food or gas, and my car insurance bill just came in the mail today.

I don't want this to be a sob story. I know that I am blessed. I know that there are so many people out there with so much less than I have. And I know that God is providing. I just can't see it.

I finally told him today. I told him that I didn't feel like he was doing a very good job of taking care of me. I told him that I don't want to feel that way, but I do.

And then he did his God-thing, and let me see how even though I can't see him providing for me, he is providing for my family. Through a short conversation with my mom I saw that he has given my parents the resources to support me. I don't always want their help - I'd rather have my independence. But God has given them the means to provide for me, and I just need to sit back and be grateful I guess.

They say that God always answers our prayers, but sometimes in ways that we don't expect or don't particularly like. I expected him to provide a job, but he hasn't. Instead, he has blessed my parents, and they in turn are blessing me. I'm so thankful to know this God of both stability and surprises. He will never cease to blow my mind.